Some of My Favorite Quotes From This Year

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"--Lo, after I told her that eating the blue goo inside the ice pack that came with her lunch couldn't be good for her.

"It's OK, Mr. Grant--the nurse says it's not toxic!"--Lo, still missing the point after a trip to the office.

"My favorite letter is 6!"--N

"I'm not going to get married until I'm 15."--Li

"Mr. Grant, there's poop on the floor."--C, stated in a much more matter-of-fact manner than I could have done.

"I need to go wipe my butt again."--M, for whom TMI has no meaning.

"Stop looking at my boobs!"--Li, to N. I ignored the comment, because talking about boobs with first graders is a good way to get in the paper.

"He doesn't have magic teacher breath--it's velcro!"--P, figuring out why the words really stuck to the word wall.

"Mrs. Smith is having Mr. Grant's baby!"--A, a little confused as to the father of my teaching partner's child. The correct answer: Mr. Smith.