USA! USA! USA!

As a proud facial-hair wearer, this warms my heart:

The United States is the world's new facial hair super power, having captured twelve world championship titles out of eighteen categories plus overall at the World Beard and Moustache Championships in Anchorage, Alaska on May 23, 2009. Possessing home field advantage, the USA was able to dethrone Germany which had dominated this competition since its inception.

And now, something to strive for. He's from the German team, but that doesn't make it any less awesome:

Having that would make parent/teacher night THE BEST EVER.