The Next Doctor’s Appointment
My wife met me at the door the other day with tears in her eyes. Never a good sign.
The developmental pediatrician had called with the results of the MRI. Dear Daughter has scar tissue on her brain, and the working theory now is that my wife was infected with a virus called cytomegalovirus (CMV) when she was pregnant. It’s been linked to premature labor (DD came 6 weeks early) and hearing loss, which is also my daughter. There’s also a strong correlation between CMV infection and mental retardation, though I’m not sure I believe that one, because my daughter seems like a pretty smart kid.
Now Mrs. is blaming herself. I’ve tried to talk with her about how that’s a ridiculous game to play that won’t change anything, but she’s still beating herself up pretty hard. I don’t really know what to say to make things better, beyond what I’m already doing. She's sleeping a lot and trying to get back to center, and I let her because she's my center too and this feeling of being adrift hurts.
I didn’t know how much I didn’t know until I became a parent.
To confirm the CMV diagnosis they needed a urine sample. Dear Daughter's not potty trained, so we had to get a urine collection bag that adhered to the skin. Put bluntly, we taped a ziplock to her cooter and waited for her to pee. Hopefully we’ll hear results on that next week. I don’t know what this means for the earlier suspicion of DiGeorge’s Syndrome, but the blood work on that should be back soon, too.
Our new specialist to add to the list is a neurologist, who will take a closer look at the MRI results and administer a CAT scan so that we have a better picture of what’s going on with the brain. We’re also supposed to see a geneticist depending on how her blood work comes back.
The more we know, the less we know. The more I know, the less I understand. I get to my feet, and there goes the rug one more time. The knowledge as power meme really isn’t resonating with me right now.
One day at a time.
The developmental pediatrician had called with the results of the MRI. Dear Daughter has scar tissue on her brain, and the working theory now is that my wife was infected with a virus called cytomegalovirus (CMV) when she was pregnant. It’s been linked to premature labor (DD came 6 weeks early) and hearing loss, which is also my daughter. There’s also a strong correlation between CMV infection and mental retardation, though I’m not sure I believe that one, because my daughter seems like a pretty smart kid.
Now Mrs. is blaming herself. I’ve tried to talk with her about how that’s a ridiculous game to play that won’t change anything, but she’s still beating herself up pretty hard. I don’t really know what to say to make things better, beyond what I’m already doing. She's sleeping a lot and trying to get back to center, and I let her because she's my center too and this feeling of being adrift hurts.
I didn’t know how much I didn’t know until I became a parent.
To confirm the CMV diagnosis they needed a urine sample. Dear Daughter's not potty trained, so we had to get a urine collection bag that adhered to the skin. Put bluntly, we taped a ziplock to her cooter and waited for her to pee. Hopefully we’ll hear results on that next week. I don’t know what this means for the earlier suspicion of DiGeorge’s Syndrome, but the blood work on that should be back soon, too.
Our new specialist to add to the list is a neurologist, who will take a closer look at the MRI results and administer a CAT scan so that we have a better picture of what’s going on with the brain. We’re also supposed to see a geneticist depending on how her blood work comes back.
The more we know, the less we know. The more I know, the less I understand. I get to my feet, and there goes the rug one more time. The knowledge as power meme really isn’t resonating with me right now.
One day at a time.
posted by Ryan at 10:51 PM
1 Comments:
Hang in there, Ryan. I've been met at the door with similar kind of tears in my wife's eyes. The doctor called, "You need to consider aborting the child because it has either Down's Syndrome or spina bifida." Gee, what a choice.
We decided against abortion and our daughter turned out healthy. When you have a baby, it's all you can be to be grateful for what you got because it can always be worse or get there fast.
The only consolation I offer is to suffer with your wife and pray every moment the pain of not knowing becomes too great. The human mind and body are incredibly adaptive...and with prayer, take it one day at a time.
Wishing you well,
Miguel Guhlin
Around the Corner-MGuhlin.net
http://mguhlin.net
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