Fake News Friday

Eastside Legislators Rise Up in Opposition to Rainy Day Fund

"Why can't it be a dry-day fund?" they ask

(Olympia) The state house and senate were both thrown into turmoil today when Eastern Washington legislators rose up as a unified block and demanded changes to Governor Gregoire's proposal to create a rainy-day fund.

The use of the term "rainy day" demonstrates a "profound western-centric bias" on the part of the Governor, argued Representative Bob Sump of Colville. "Everyone knows that rainy days are a westside thing, and calling it a rainy day fund makes it sound like the money is for westsiders only. That's simply unacceptable."

Senator Chris Marr carried the issue into the Senate. "If we're going to create a rainy-day fund, then we should also create a dry-day fund so that the Eastern Washington perspective is honored. After all, we (Eastern Washington) got hosed on the state quarter, and that's not going to happen again. Not on my watch, no sir!"

"Maybe we can compromise by calling it a Damp Day Fund, or just The Fund. A Wet/Dry fund? A Rainy/Dusty Day fund? That could work," said Senator Lisa Brown, also of Spokane.

Western Washington lawmakers responded with puzzlement, as many were unaware that there was an Eastern Washington. "Are you talking about Bremerton, on the east side? Or somewhere really far away, like Issaquah?" asked Senator Dan Swecker of Rochester.