Inside Olympia with Rodney Tom (Abridged Version)
With Austin Jenkins, Rodney Tom, and Mark Schoesler
AJ: I'm joined by a Republican and a Democrat, I guess. Is Ed Murray done hating you yet?
RT: I'm so fucking bipartisan it hurts, and I don't understand why the Democrats over there won't take me up on my generous offer.
AJ: Will you negotiate with them at all on the committees or the structure?
RT: Fuck that, I'm a winner! Right, Mark? I'm giving them no strings attached chairs!
AJ: What will day one look like?
MS: I will bathe in the blood of the Democrats, and my God will it ever be glorious.
AJ: Ed Murray read a history book, and he says that you're both so full of shit that you cry brown tears?
RT: My constituents really want this. Last year, we passed the budget 44-2!
AJ: Wasn't that mainly Ed Murray's budget?
RT: Oh, fuck off. There are serious issues, and I'm a serious man!
AJ: Kevin Ranker also says that this notion of power sharing is a total crock under a cloak of bipartisanship and that this is more to the right than it is the middle.
MS: FUSE is the Washington version of ACORN. Transportation, Higher Education, and Environment are all really, really neat committees that anyone would want to chair!
RT: I chaired Higher Ed last year. It was great.
RT: I can't believe Kevin Ranker would say such a horrible thing, because me and Mark basically copied all of that off of Jay Inslee's website. Me and Mark are just like Jay Inslee!
MS: Easy, Tiger.
RT: I don't want us to be like DC, so that's why I'm just like Joe Lieberman.
AJ: So, social issues?
MS: Jobs, education, and budget. Period! That's what people are concerned about.
AJ: So, no social issues?
MS: Didn't say that.
AJ: But Steve Hobbes wants insurance providers to have to pay for abortions, and Republican Steve Litzow agrees. Does that bill have a chance?
RT: I totally support that legislation, but that witch Lisa Brown didn't pass it last year when she was the majority leader. People hate those political games!
AJ: So you'll pass it this year, since you're the majority leader?
RT: Oh hell no. Val Stevens would kill me. We're going to have a laser focus, absolutely!
AJ: Do you think you have control, or is that tenuous?
MS: In 1963 Big Daddy Day did things.
RT: But we haven't put a lock on any ideas. Legislation will be introduced, and if I have to give Janea Holmquist Right to Work in order to get her vote for my Screw All the Teachers Bill, I'll do it.
AJ: So what will you guy do when you have different opinions?
RT: (looks at MS)
MS: That's all you need to know, right there.
RT: I'm thoughtful!
AJ: Senator Schoesler, how dead is gun control?
MS: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh so fucking dead.
AJ: The Associated Press said this week that Pam Roach is still beating staff. Is she a reliable vote?
MS: I never got to see that report that said she's nuts. I mean, I spend a lot of time with her in meetings, but I dunno. Also, we're all going to have training. Training is the cure, here! And I can find one staffer who she hasn't abused yet, so really I think everything is just swell.
AJ: But are there any restriction on her?
RT: Jesus, no. I need her like oxygen.
MS: I really need a committee meeting so that I can know what's going on.
AJ: McCleary will cost eleventy bazillion dollars. What do?
RT: The internet sales tax will make everything better.
AJ: I thought you said you were against raising taxes?
RT: Shut up. I'm going to fund the classroom of the future, where the teachers are terrified and have no health insurance.
AJ: But reform isn't money, and local school districts are having to make up the difference with local levies. Why am I having to patiently explain the McCleary decision to you?
RT: I want STEM to emphasize science, technology, engineering, and math.
RT: A PE teacher and a math teacher make the same amount of money. Who fucking needs PE teachers, anyways?
AJ: Fat kids?
RT: Microsoft can go out and hire a great math and science teacher for a lot more than someone who is a great PE teacher can get another job. I'm going to attract the best and brightest by calling a lot of teacher slugs.
AJ: So no more money?
RT: Oh, eventually, after everything else I want is done.
AJ: Senator Hewitt was kind of, "Yeah, taxes, maybe?"
MS: We can't just throw money at the problem. Our think tank said so!
RT: I love output measures. They can be used to make teachers look bad.
AJ: I'm still hearing "no taxes", yes?
MS: Ask me after the March revenue and caseload forecasts. Progress might be anywhere between $0 and a billion.
RT: I really hate all day kindergarten.
AJ: Have Governor Inslee and Speaker Chopp told you to go to hell yet?
MS: Well, they've talked to me......
AJ: Please come back soon!